Grand Valley United Methodist Church
January 2026 Newsletter
In this newsletter:
1. From the Pastor
2. Mission Minute
3. Church Directory
4. Birthdays
5. Calendar
6. Group Details
7. Church Reports
8. Just for Fun
From the Pastor….
I came across this little story and thought that we should be mindful of the point it makes as we enter the new year.
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise and two cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosphy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the student if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes”.
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things….God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions…and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.”
“The sand is everything else…the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.”
“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children, spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first…the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.”
“It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”
Mission Minute
Human Relations Sunday is January 18th. This is a Special Giving Sunday that promotes social justice and community outreach, celebrated on the Sunday before Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The observance is dedicated to recognizing the right of all people to realize their potential and supports ministries that work with at-risk youth, community development, and advocacy through offerings.
Do you make New Year’s Resolutions? If so, be sure to add to your list keeping the church up to date on your address, phone, email, etc., And don’t forget to include the way that you receive the monthly newsletter! Do you still want to receive it? Are you getting it mailed and would prefer to get it via email? Do you know someone that would like to receive it? Just let the office know!
CHURCH DIRECTORY
Many people want a new, updated Church directory. We discovered that the accounting software has the capability of printing a directory with pictures. Because pictures may be included, we have asked Jane King to come to Church on January 25th to take pictures of members and attenders. She will be there at 9:00 a.m. to start. Please plan on being at Church early on the 25th to have your picture taken for the directory. You will be able to look at the picture in the camera to approve it. If you will not be able to make it on the 25th, we still would like a picture of you. You may supply your own if it is in a .JPEG format. Please send it to the Church, as an attachment, not imbedded within the email, at office@grandvalleyumc.com.
January Birthdays
12 – Allison Jorgenson
21 – Anita Elliott-Hodgden
Our Seekers Class(Adult Sunday School) meets every Sunday morning at 8:30. We invite all to attend.
Our Tuesday Bible Study group meets at 10:30 a.m. every Tuesday and are studying 1, 2 & 3 John and Job.
Choir meets at 4:00 Wednesday afternoons and bells meet when necessary. We are always looking for participants, so if you would like to join either of these wonderful musical groups, please contact the office at (970)285-9892 or by email: office@grandvalleyumc.com
Prayer Partners meet the 1st and 3rd Thursdays at 10:30 at Mesa Vista. If you have anyone that you would like to add to the Prayer Partner list, please contact the office.
Church Council Report
Council met at 2:00 on Tuesday, December 9th.
Treasurer – November was a good month. A five-month CD, in the amount of $15,000, has been opened at Alpine Bank. Unclaimed property in the amount of $108 was found online and the paperwork to claim it is in process.
Finance – The giving letters will be handed out or mailed this Sunday, the 14th.
Music – There will be a piano recital this Thursday, the 11th, at 6 p.m. The bells play this Sunday, the 14th.
Missions – It was discussed among the members of Council whether there would be enough people attending the Christmas dinner to bother to have it. Michael will talk with Laurel.
Trustees – They purchased a new flag since the other was smoke-covered. It would cost $476 to fix the valve on the water fountain, so it was decided it would not be fixed. The snowblower is prepared for winter. The element in the oven at the parsonage is broken. John will look into getting it replaced.
Worship – The preaching schedule is done through Easter. The Church will not be having an Ash Wednesday service and recommends that anyone wanting to go to one visit All Saint’s Episcopal Church’s service. The Longest Night service will be held the 21st at 5:30. Christmas Eve service will be the 24th at 6:00.
Christian Education – The Tuesday Bible study is growing and is going well. They have two members of the Catholic Church, so there are diverse opinions. Everyone is welcome.
Pastor’s report – Michael has all Sundays filled while he is gone. He and Roxanne will be flying out on January 12th.
Old Business – Jane King said she would take the pictures for the directory. Penelope will check with her to see if January 25th is a good day to do them.
Treasurer
YOU ARE SO GENEROUS
During the month of November, giving was almost $1,700 over the projected budget. This brought year-to-date giving to be just above $2,350 over our budget. There were only a few non-fixed expenses and so we ended the month in the black to the tune of just under $1,750. So, it was a good month.
But not only that, you gave $3,100 to the Grand Valley Givers Fund. This has allowed the fund to have more than enough to pay for the clothes and gifts for the children. All in all, total giving, to all funds, for the month of November, was $11,075, a fantastic amount. Thanks to all who donated anything this month.
The Church had some extra cash, so it was decided to put it to work. Fifteen thousand dollars were put into a CD at Alpine Bank for five months. The interest rate is 3.75%, which is a fairly decent rate. That still gave us working capital to pay the bills.
The Church has $145,400 in general fund reserves to fall back on. Hopefully, there will be no need to dig into this next year, though the projected budget is tight. You have received your pledge cards and please prayerfully consider what you can contribute to the running of the Church. Most expenses have increased for the Church, just as they have for you.
As always, the financial statements are on the bulletin board for your perusal. If you have any questions, please contact Penelope Olson.
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. Since they were starting to smell, however, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it … hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, resulting in the idiom, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed, therefore, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, leading folks to coin the phrase “dirt poor.”
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way, subsequently creating a “thresh hold.”
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while, and thus the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the “upper crust.”
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up, creating the custom of holding a wake.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were “piss poor.”
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot; they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands & complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive, so they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.
And that’s the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring?
Church Contact Information
PO Box 125
Parachute CO 81635
(970)285-9892
office@grandvalleyumc.com
www.GrandValleyUMC.com
OFFICE HOURS:
Wednesday – Friday
9:00 – noon